What Personality Type Am I?

A thought that has been floating around in my head for a while now has been 'Do I really know myself?'. At some point, I'm unsure of the exact moment, I found myself in Adulthood. It never felt like a choice or decision, just something that happened naturally without me even noticing. It creeped in to my mind, my body and my life and regrettably, I think it pushed something out too. 

Being an adult and fully responsible for my own life is overwhelming, busy and stressful a lot of the time. When I was teen I used to spend hours upon hours in my bedroom laying on my bed, looking at the ceiling and just thinking. Okay, maybe I spent some of that time running down my credit on my Nokia 3310 and building my dream house on The Sims. But mostly I remember being in my hideous red and black themed bedroom (I was very much in to Green Day's American Idiot at the time. I also owned a red drum kit and a guitar so, that was a fun stage in my life) laying on my bed, legs up the wall, staring at the ceiling or watching the clouds pass by my window. Maybe I would have some music on my CD Walkman, maybe not. I spent so much time with myself, my own thoughts and own mind that even though I was an unsure teenager, I had a pretty good idea of who I really was at that stage of my life. 

Now life is full of things all the time. My brain is endlessly busy. Even in the moments that I tell myself are 'me time' I'm distracting myself with things - books, television, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter. I think part of this is the way the world is at the moment, we're the generation that's glued to our phones right? But I know part of it is fear. Fear of being truly alone with myself. Living with anxieties, my brain is constantly trying to pull me down paths that I don't want to go. If I sat alone with no distractions, I fear where my own mind would take me. 
The general business of every day adult life plus the constant need to be doing something, watching something, consuming something...  I think somewhere down the line I forget to get to know myself. 

A long time ago I took an online personality test. I can't remember the website now but I know it took me a good 20 minutes and the questions felt quite repetitive. Today I came across https://www.16personalities.com/. It said the test would take less than 12 minutes so I was instantly convinced. I love wasting time on rubbish BuzzFeed quizzes so 12 minutes on something that would hopefully be genuinely insightful seemed worth it. After roughly 10 minutes Agree - Disagree questions these were my results. 

'Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.'
The website then gives you an overall explanation to your results and you can then go in depth to how this effects different aspects of your life. I completely agreed with the above paragraph and was really interested to read more. 

What are my Personality Type Strengths?
  • Idealistic – Mediators’ friends and loved ones will come to admire and depend on them for their optimism. Their unshaken belief that all people are inherently good, perhaps simply misunderstood, lends itself to an incredibly resilient attitude in the face of hardship.
  • Seek and Value Harmony – People with the Mediator personality type have no interest in having power over others, and don’t much care for domineering attitudes at all. They prefer a more democratic approach, and work hard to ensure that every voice and perspective is heard.
  • Open-Minded and Flexible – A live-and-let-live attitude comes naturally to Mediators, and they dislike being constrained by rules. Mediators give the benefit of the doubt too, and so long as their principles and ideas are not being challenged, they’ll support others’ right to do what they think is right.
  • Very Creative – Mediators combine their visionary nature with their open-mindedness to allow them to see things from unconventional perspectives. Being able to connect many far-flung dots into a single theme, it’s no wonder that many Mediators are celebrated poets and authors.
  • Passionate and Energetic – When something captures Mediators’ imagination and speaks to their beliefs, they go all in, dedicating their time, energy, thoughts and emotions to the project. Their shyness keeps them from the podium, but they are the first to lend a helping hand where it’s needed.
  • Dedicated and Hard-Working – While others focusing on the challenges of the moment may give up when the going gets tough, Mediators (especially Assertive ones) have the benefit of their far-reaching vision to help them through. Knowing that what they are doing is meaningful gives people with this personality type a sense of purpose and even courage when it comes to accomplishing something they believe in.

What Are My Personality Type Weaknesses?

  • Too Idealistic – Mediators often take their idealism too far, setting themselves up for disappointment as, again and again, evil things happen in the world. This is true on a personal level too, as Mediators may not just idealize their partners, but idolize them, forgetting that no one is perfect.
  • Too Altruistic – Mediators sometimes see themselves as selfish, but only because they want to give so much more than they are able to. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as they try to push themselves to commit to a chosen cause or person, forgetting to take care of the needs of others in their lives, and especially themselves.
  • Impractical – When something captures Mediators’ imagination, they can neglect practical matters like day-to-day maintenance and simple pleasures. Sometimes people with the Mediator personality type will take this asceticism so far as to neglect eating and drinking as they pursue their passion or cause.
  • Dislike Dealing With Data – Mediators are often so focused on the big picture that they forget the forest is made of individual trees. Mediators are in tune with emotions and morality, and when the facts and data contradict their ideals, it can be a real challenge for them.
  • Take Things Personally – Mediators often take challenges and criticisms personally, rather than as inspiration to reassess their positions. Avoiding conflict as much as possible, Mediators will put a great deal of time and energy into trying to align their principles and the criticisms into a middle ground that satisfies everybody.
  • Difficult to Get to Know – Mediators are private, reserved and self-conscious. This makes them notoriously difficult to really get to know, and their need for these qualities contributes to the guilt they often feel for not giving more of themselves to those they care about.

I found this section really interesting. It was almost unsettling but also weirdly satisfying to read points about my personality that we're so incredibly accurate. 
Reading the strengths felt unexpectedly re-assuring. While there were one or two things that I felt were a little off, the rest of it served as a reminder that yes, I do have those qualities and that's actually a good thing! I particularly related to the part about being passionate and energetic, especially when it said my shyness keeps me from the podium. 
The weaknesses also hit quite close to home. I already know that I'm sensitive and take things too personally, and that I'm definitely aware that I can be difficult to get to know. I'm the kind of person you don't know me until you know me. While getting to know people I let parts of myself out slowly. I did strike a chord with me that 'I'm guilty of not giving more of myself to those I care about'. I've never thought about it before but that's actually quite true and I definitely need to learn to open up and be the 'real' me more. Not that I'm fake in any way, it's just I keep some quite big parts of me inside that deserve to be let out. What struck me most was the 'Too Altruistic'. I never realised it before but I do berate myself any time I might put my own needs before others. I often feel guilty for 'being selfish' when in actual fact I'm actually attempting the impossible when it comes to being completely selfless. I've always known I'm extremely empathetic and see it as both a strength and weakness. I feel the pain and happiness of others way more than I've ever felt my own.  

Honestly, I felt that about 99% of everything written was completely accurate to me. Some of it I already knew about myself, while some points have been an eye opener and taught me things about myself that I'm only just now realising to be true. 

The website goes in to a lot more detail with sections on things such as relationships and careers but I won't bore you with all my in depth results here as you probably don't care. I will that career path section was incredibly interesting to read for me. It really hit the nail on the head, I did 'dream of becoming an author growing up' and now I do find myself 'drifting in frustration, ultimately succumbing to the necessities of day-to-day life in a job that wasn’t meant for' me - something I've recently realised myself and am on a mission to change.
 I would definitely recommend giving this a go, it takes very little time to complete the questions and the results make for a really interesting read. Plus, you never know, you might just learn something about yourself.

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost. - J. R. R. Tolkien

- Adel xx


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