My Keep Calm and Embrace Your Curves Bikini 'Diet'



It's almost the end of September and I'm too excited for Autumn weather. I've already dug out all my comfiest jumpers and fluffiest socks. I'm dreaming of autumn walks in the park and cradling a hot chocolate in my woolly mitt cladded hands. 
Then a friend suggests a last minute couples holiday to Majorca and before I can blink, it's booked, and 4 days of bikini wearing is suddenly in my not too distant future. The panic sets in as I put down my pizza and realise I can't hide under my favourite hoodie. 
I want to feel confident in my bikini and little shorts. I don’t want to spend my days by the pool being hyper aware of my pudgy tummy or wobbly thighs. I just want to feel care-free, and enjoy my time being in the moment. Part of that is going to come from inside my head, I know. But if attempting to loose a a few pounds before my holiday will give me a confidence boost, then it’s worth doing. Even if the scales don’t budge, but I feel better, it’s been worth it. And to be honest, I’m not expecting a miracle. I’m not about to put myself on a crazy crash diet and spend the next 4 weeks being an under-fed, miserable zombie. I honestly don’t think I’d make it through. Actually, I don’t think my relationship would make it through. You know that Snickers advert ‘You’re not you when you’re hungry’.. well that’s me, but worse. I turn in to an evil, carb craving hag. It’s a full on hunger rage, and it’s not good for anyone. 
I’m really not the kind of person that wakes up for an early morning jog and comes back and prepares an instagrammable smoothie bowl. If I’m eating crips then it’s a whole bag of Doritos, not dried kale. By no means am I saying that stuff is wrong, I wish I could be that person. But I’m not, and I’m cool with that. I was raised on a diet of potato waffles, turkey dinosaurs and Findus crispy pancakes, and vegetables were something we saved for Sundays. And to be honest, I'm still repping the crisp sandwich on a weekly basis. 
I don't restrict my diet, because quite frankly I can't be arsed. I go to the gym and I think I eat pretty balanced, but if I want something... life's too short to not eat the Krispy Kreme. 
But I realised I have been over indulging a little recently, and the idea of squeezing my pale and pasty wobbly bits in to a bikini in just 4 weeks isn't that ideal. 

So here it is, my Bikini ‘Diet' (lol):

Breakfast
Alpro Soya Yoghurt, with blueberries and a banana.

Mid-Morning Snack 
Grapes/apple

Lunch
Salad:
Baby gem lettuce, cucumber, baby plum tomatoes, sweet corn, peppers - with either chicken, boiled eggs or tuna/salmon

Afternoon Snack
Carrot sticks and hummus

When I've Got A Craving
Chocolate coated rice cakes

Dinner
Veg, meat, wholegrains


We’re changing up dinner most nights to keep some level of sanity but the basis of it is as above; veggies or some sort of healthy homemade vegetable sauce, with some form of meat or fish, and a wholegrain rice/pasta. 

Wholegrain pasta is what’s keeping me in this, I won’t lie. We always eat wholegrain anyway, but having completely kicked bread to the curb, that steaming bowl of pasta on an evening is my life line. Pasta is one of my favourite foods, albeit I much prefer it smothered a rich cheesy sauce with some bacon bits thrown in. But pasta is pasta, and I’ll take it. 

Tonight Gareth has made a super healthy, packed with vegetables, five bean chilli with quorn mince on rice and oh my god it’s actually delicious. 

Honestly, not a that much has changed.


Wholemeal bread has left my lunch club, and I miss it sorely, along with my maple syrup coated granola in the mornings. But generally dinner has stayed the same. Except for that there’s no glass of wine/gin on the occasional evening when I feel like it. And we're not even speaking about the Chinese/pizza we love to order in on the weekend. Oh, and my usual MOUND of chocolate and crisps on a daily basis has gone bye bye. 

Basically I've kept it simple and just cut out the crap I usually allow myself to have. Gareth and I have this thing when we do the weekly shop, we bring home freshly baked sausage rolls from Morrisons and sit down and eat them with a brew when we get home. That's stopped. And weirdly, because I don't even eat chips that often, but god dammit I can't wait 'til I can get a salty french fry in my mouth. Which will be on holiday, because it's all inclusive, and I'm gonna eat all the chips and ice cream. Not at the same time. Maybe at the same time.

P.S. In the interest of total honesty, we're about 2 weeks in to this healthier eating thing and a pizza has been had. Just one, and it was absolutely necessary.

- Adel xx

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